loving may (so far)

being a new mum definitely has its ups and downs. so far may has been full of ups and el sib and i have been very happy. she is still just a little slip of a thing; she just reached the 12 pound mark and is often mistaken for a much younger baby. i think she is reaching all of the milestones on track....i dont really read up on them, or know what they are---but i see what other girls write on their blogs and she seems to be progressing normally! one thing i really love about my pediatrician is that he is so laid back and does not give a mom information that will lead to worrying. for example, i didnt know sib was small until my lactation consultant pointed it out. my doc doesnt mention percentages, or percentiles. he asks about what she has achieved and doesnt point out things that she has not reached yet. that matches my style perfectly.

i dont really have time to plan out what i am going to blog about in advance but i am going to attempt a list of things loved so far in this wonderful month of may!

1. 4 months- sib has changed so much in the past few weeks. when she turned 16 weeks, it was like a light went off in her little cabbage head. all of a sudden she really noticed the things going on in the world around her. she loves the dogs, she loves tummy time, she loves walks, she loves benson most of all (whew, a bit of a relief)! she is so happy, and does a hilarious giggle and even a bit of a cackle. she likes to be tickled too. love, love, love having a 4 month old. can i freeze her at this stage, like forever?

2. nursing- so not to talk about boobs or anything....i know people have different experiences nursing, especially in the beginning when it is hard, and you are trying to time things, figure out when to switch boobs, wonder if you have enough milk, etc. however, i just want to put out there for anyone considering quitting during the first 2 months- just wait it out. nursing is the most rewarding part of being a mother. we have a new little habit now which i love- benson brings sib to me when she wakes up at 7 and we nurse in bed, lying down. i had trouble with this position in the beginning but now she seems to have the neck and mouth control to do it well. we sit and play in bed afterwards and those are her sweetest moments of the day. i love how she uses her hands while nursing....i feel most bonded to her while nursing. just love it and love the way the Lord designed our bodies to sustain our babies.

3. mommy and me class - on tuesdays i go to a local class which focuses on nursing (it is led by a lactation consultant) and it is such a great way to connect with other moms. being a stay at home mom (sahm) can be a bit isolating if you dont try to get out there...especially since i do not know any other sahm's and am a bit of an introvert anyways.

4. a song of ice and fire- ok...so really i started this series in april, but am finishing the fourth book in may. this is a fantasy series written by george r.r. martin and i could not be anymore obsessed. you have to be obsessed to finishing 4, 500+ page books in 3 weeks. although this is typical behavior for me, this series takes me in a slightly different direction. everyone knows i am a big time nerd...but i guess i thought my fantasy fascination was confined to lord of the rings and the histories of middle earth and harry potter. benson begged me not to start this series (he is afraid of the rabbit hole i might fall into, considering i am a 28 year old female who collects comics) but now he is as addicted to it as i am. looks like i am going to officially start haunting the fantasy section of barnes and noble, not just the graphic novel section. by the way, the males you see in these 2 sections (a female is a rare sighting) are generally very interesting characters.

5. masterpiece classics - i love gpb/pbs. just want to put out there that i am pretty uncritical (is that a word?) of historical fiction in film. i love the language, i love the costumes and filming locations. south riding is the new one i am watching and it is awesome. i loathe to let sibby watch any tv....but it is ok if it is this type of show, right? (i regret to inform you that sibby is fascinated by the tv, so i am careful to only let her watch nerdy shows....oh, and the soup)

6. my box turtle - sibby and i have a new pet box turtle that appears outside of her bedroom window (the patio) every other day around 8 am. we feed him grapes. he likes the grapes, but not the interruption.

7. benson working from home on friday - sometimes benson will work at home. it is such a great day for me....i dont like to do errands on the weekends. when he works from home on friday, i can leave her when she is napping with benson and i can go do errands which are cumbersome with a baby. for ex. printing pics at cvs. she would be bored 3 minutes in...and it takes FOREVER to pick them out when your camera card holds 1000+ photos.

8. etsy - ok, so i have loved etsy for years, buy i have found some particularly awesome finds this month. sib's baptism invites, a necklace for my mom for mothers day, a fox (!) teething ring for sibby with her name carved into it....i LOVE etsy.

9. fabric shopping- i am trying to find some fabric for my dining room. i really do enjoy shopping for fabric but unfortunately i am not to great at matching. i love vibrant fabrics with motifs, not a simple pattern. i hope my house does not send someone into an epileptic fit or cause nausea from all of the clashing colors. if you turn in circles it might be a bit like the tilt-a-whirl.

10.alfred lord tennyson - ulysses has been my favorite poem for years. now i am determined to read it to sibby twice a day so that she can be one of those child prodigies that recite poems at the age of 2. despite the fact that ulysses is about how death hangs over us as we age, and the effort to not become complacent and useless, i think it is stirring and inspiring. it makes me want to "follow knowledge like a sinking star, beyond the upmost bound of human thought"
i am a bit morbid in that i have had my funeral arranged since i was young. my tombstone shall read : come my friends! tis not to late to seek a newer world. push off and sitting well in order, smite the sounding furrows. for my purpose holds to sail beyond the sunset and the baths of all the western stars until i die.
i also want a marble bear on top of a ten ft. obelisk to guard my burial site. yep. i do.


have to go. as a warning, or an apology i am not going to reread or spell check this. no time!!

16 weeks

Today the Sibbster, El Sibonator, et al. is 16 weeks old. The cliche that time flies has never been proven so true until parenthood. Looking back on this blog, which has been woefully put aside since 1.11.11, I find it particularly hilarious to read my post on 1.10.11. I wrote nervously and you can tell I wasn't quite ready for the baby to come...but it was only a few hours later when my water broke. That is what I liked about keeping a blog/journal is that it takes you back to a certain time frame and state of mind which is very easy to forget. So with that said, and I am making no promises here, I hope to update this once a week...so at least I can remember the different struggles and milestones we met along the way.

Lessons Learned

If I could say one thing to Betsy Ward around week one or two of Sibby's existence, it would be the following: Give her a bottle earlier rather than later. The boob consultants told me to wait 4-6 weeks to introduce the bottle....well, now she won't take it. Hopefully I will remember this for round 2.
Also, if it is possible, try to hand your baby off to other people when they are around. Sibby is already showing MAJOR signs of being a mama's girl. I know it is cute, and I am ob.ses.sed with her....but I want her to like her daddy....and be happy with her grandparents, etc. There is a danger zone with being a stay-at-home-mom, exclusive nurser, baby-wearing fool...I am experiencing the repercussions now...Sibby basically only wants me (Uncle Trey is somehow excluded from the list of no no's).
Future self: Don't drop your baby in the water, hit her head on wooden objects or chandeliers. Be more careful!

Milestones
El Sib is probably going to be a petite lady. She is not growing like a weed, more like a small violet you keep indoors. She is 12 pounds, 22 inches at 4 months. I know people whose babies were bigger than that at 3 weeks. Heck, almost at birth. I am not worried; she has rolls on her small frame and is happy and content...but she might inherit her father's stature.
Despite her size, she is pretty strong for a young lass. She can roll over one way, and yesterday she even rolled from her back to her stomach. She can support all of her weight on her legs, and is a champ at neck control. She can follow us all around a room with her swively head and eagle eyes. The baby books keep mentioning "reaching for toys"...we don't really play with toys, so I am not sure about that one. If she is not napping or nursing, I am generally face to face with her, doing tummy time on a blanket, or she is in her vibrating chair watching me workout, clean, cook dinner, etc. Should I start giving here toys? I figure throughout history babies didn't really have toys...maybe a rag doll, or a wooden figurine...so she should be cool. I also detest plastic stuff strung around the house. Da Vinci didn't have vibrating, singing, multi-colored accessories and he turned out to be a pretty smart guy.
I might not be a fan of toys, but I am an idiot for baby clothes. I said (I love eating my words!) that is is silly to waste money on baby clothes, blah, blah, blah. I also assumed I would like more modern outfits....No, wrong, try again, go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $100. I want Sibby to wear her smocked outfits until middle school (like I did)! I loved pantaloons, victorian collars and gingham. I want her to wear beautiful smocked clothes everywhere. And as she gets older I want her church dresses to be so old fashioned that she could have walked right out of a tin type from 1870. It is so funny to me that having a child changes so many ideas you might have previously held, and all of the ruminations you daydreamed of how you were going to raise your child changed the minute you actually saw that face. I willingly admit I was so wrong on so many things!
The little Niblet is awesome at the grocery store, shopping, etc. excepting the car ride. She is not a fan of the car seat. She loves to be outside and watch the bumblebees fight. I hope we have a budding animal lover (like mommy). I have a photo of her at 10 weeks old with a garden snake...I am sure most people find that revolting and want to call DFCS on me but I want her to learn the way I did, from experience, that all animals are awesome....even snakes and spiders.
Watching Benson with our daughter is the highlight of my life...especially on the weekends when she is in a good mood. When he comes home at night it is almost bedtime and Sibbs is not always so lovey dovey!
Sibby is mostly good at church. She has attended since she was 4 weeks and Easter is the only time I had to get up with her. Her schedule was way off on Easter, poor thing.

Ok, the little girl is waking up...Back to reality. I love you Sibby! Happy 16 weeks!