i guess i am really torn between two paths in approaching childbirth. i have spoken for years about the desire for a natural childbirth with no meds. there are so many reasons to approach it this way (that i am not going to list here!). then i read birth stories describing 4th degree tears (seriously cant even say that without gagging), women fainting from pain, and unbearable transitions and my intense fear of pain and childbirth bubbles to the surface and overruns all of my naturalistic intentions. no one likes pain, but i seriously get ill from just considering an episiotomy, let alone a tear. i have not had morning sickness my entire pregnancy, but i am nauseous right now, just writing about it. i hate feeling weak and delicate, but honestly these fears seem to override any rational thought i have in planning for childbirth! It makes me want to just schedule a c-section so that tearing is not a concern (i am not planning on that mom). i know those are such polar opposite birth plans...au natural or uber-invasive...
for now, i just need to calm down and go see a cute baby. i know it will remind me that in the end, i wont care how it got here but that it is healthy.
18 weeks...post meal. it really makes quite a difference!
17 weeks
17 weeks
Your belly is getting bigger!!!! But your boobs are enormous just incase you didn't already realize this haha. My neighbor was telling me about the birth of her 4th child (I did not ask to hear any of this she offered the information all herself just to clarify) but she had an at home birth with a midwife. And she said that is was the most relaxing wonderful experience she had ever had. Granted it was her 4th so she had been around the block a time or two in the birthing area and prepared for what was about to happen to her. But I could see you liking something along those lines of a more personal experience of one person being soley dedicated to your care. Hope to see you soon!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove mallory