i know i havent updated in so long that this blog does not even technically exist anymore, but i guess i just need a tiny outlet today. we had sibby's 9 month (even though she is a week away from 10 months) well visit yesterday. i am sure everyone knows from my fb updates that sibby is a shrimp. i held my breath as the nurse put her on the scale hoping for a 13, perhaps even 14 lbs to show up...and......ouch :( still 12. 12 lbs and 14 ozs to be exact, so she has gained. just so slowly that it doesnt seem like she has. at her 4 month appt she weighed 12 lbs. exactly. six months later, she has gained 14 ozs.
now luckily, i have such an awesome, laid-back doctor. he doesnt even bring it up! no questions about feeding schedules or how much she takes in, etc. i asked him near the end of the visit about her static weight. he said it isn't even worth discussing because he can take one look at her and know that she is perfectly healthy. he said that mentally, she is about 3 months ahead of the curve (go girl!) and that she would not be making those leaps, as well as height and head circumference growth, if she was not getting enough food or had an issue. and of course, i know that she is healthy and fine, but seriously i cant stand the comments. at first it didnt bother me, but the older she gets, the more they bother me. so yes my baby is the size of your 2 month old, but doc says she will always be thin and most likely, petite in height as well. he said she will be grateful for that metabolism one day.
ok, i feel a little bit better now! on to some of the more positive things that have been occurring with her. so she is a genius. you heard it here first! at 7 months she was pronouncing mama, dada, hi and sometimes baby. now she actually puts an association with those words. she waves hi and bye, claps, is trying to stand, has mastered the commando crawl, plays peek a boo by putting the sheet over her head, figures out games SUPER quickly, "reads" to herself by flipping through books and babbling, tries any finger food you put her way, and feeds herself with a spoon. she is amazing and watching those little wheels spinning around is amazing.
she is still a mama's girl all the way. i wear her about 2 hours a day at least, so i am sure that has something to do with it! and the nursing, and me being home with her......she loves daddy though and has so much fun with him. she totally recognizes my parents from all of the weeks she has spent with them. she is going to have her first spend the night with my in-laws this weekend....nervous! she hasnt been away from me for more than 2-3 hours so far!
she is finally starting to get over stranger anxiety. FINALLY! she still has separation anxiety, but at least she doesnt scream at little old ladies in the grocery store anymore. she is stubborn and strong willed. she is also not exactly one of those "into everything, running around, scooting/crawling around" babies. she prefers to stay in one place.
she has made my heart grow sooooo big. i am the most blessed girl i know for being able to stay home with her. it seriously has been the blessing of my life. and i am so grateful to benson who appreciates what it has done for sibby and for me. i believe i was born for this....for taking care of my husband and my bab(y)ies!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
crush
after talking with my sister-in-law, my hubbs and everyone else i know i have come to the foregone conclusion that there is something wrong with me. why are my celebrity crushes so.....out there (old)?
below are the fellas that benson better pray i never actually meet
1. alan rickman
2. sam elliott
3. brendan gleeson
4. liam neeson
5. viggo mortensen
yes, they are all over the age of (viggo is what, 45?)...the rest hover around 60 (or 70)...
is this an actual disorder?
dang. these posted in reverse order! we all know alan is #1 in my heart.
below are the fellas that benson better pray i never actually meet
1. alan rickman
2. sam elliott
3. brendan gleeson
4. liam neeson
5. viggo mortensen
yes, they are all over the age of (viggo is what, 45?)...the rest hover around 60 (or 70)...
is this an actual disorder?
dang. these posted in reverse order! we all know alan is #1 in my heart.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
ruminations
my little thumbelina continues to change and amaze me daily. i feel like she has always been a part of our lives, and often catch myself saying, oh, well she was doing that/stopped doing that months ago. no betsy, she was not even born months ago! he is still so new, and i am constantly surprised at how quickly they change and how fast they learn to be a part of the world. knowing that babies learn from you and from copying you, there is a pressure to always be your best....to be the person you have always wanted to be so that your child will have the best example. i keep thinking, gosh soon i am not going to be able to get away with _______. (cursing under my breath, getting up in arms in traffic, saying something less than nice about someone) but really, that has to start now. really, yesterday.
at the same time, i have read many interesting articles (most recently this month's atlantic, if you get it) about how the incessant coddling, and protecting our children from the harsher realities of life actually sets them up got unreasonable expectations as adults. of course, this makes sense. everyone does not get a trophy in the real world for being on the losing soccer team. children need to learn it is okay to fail, and yes, get upset about it but then get over it. supposedly psychiatrists are seeing a tide of 20 and 30 somethings come into their office saying they had the perfect childhood and they don't understand why they are not happy all of the time, and this depresses them. the point being, they have been led to expect a constant state of fulfillment and happiness, at praise for everything they do....and that we, as parents, are setting our children up for this by praising every correctly tied shoelace, or every time the baby rolls over. that by amending our personalities to always seem happy and delightful in front of our children, we are denying them the chance to learn at an early age (where most of our learning actually happens) how to deal with less than stellar emotions.
these are just the ruminations of a new parent who wants to do the best she can. i am sure there is a middle road, and that at the end of the day you have to just go with what feels natural. everyone has to do what works for them. i am not sure why our culture puts so much emphasis on every bit of daily minutiae. whether your question is when to start solids, how to bathe your child, how to get them to sleep or when to comfort them if they are crying; there is a plethora of opinions, each stating that failure to do x, y or z will result in your child's eventual demise! well, not exactly, but the accusations fly across the table whether you are reading a baby book, or researching on the internet - that this small, personal choice will ruin your baby's relationship with you, or cause problems later in life. i guess today i am just feeling over inundated with conflicting advice (solids) and it is causing me to over think. ok, trying to deactivate my brain now!
at the same time, i have read many interesting articles (most recently this month's atlantic, if you get it) about how the incessant coddling, and protecting our children from the harsher realities of life actually sets them up got unreasonable expectations as adults. of course, this makes sense. everyone does not get a trophy in the real world for being on the losing soccer team. children need to learn it is okay to fail, and yes, get upset about it but then get over it. supposedly psychiatrists are seeing a tide of 20 and 30 somethings come into their office saying they had the perfect childhood and they don't understand why they are not happy all of the time, and this depresses them. the point being, they have been led to expect a constant state of fulfillment and happiness, at praise for everything they do....and that we, as parents, are setting our children up for this by praising every correctly tied shoelace, or every time the baby rolls over. that by amending our personalities to always seem happy and delightful in front of our children, we are denying them the chance to learn at an early age (where most of our learning actually happens) how to deal with less than stellar emotions.
these are just the ruminations of a new parent who wants to do the best she can. i am sure there is a middle road, and that at the end of the day you have to just go with what feels natural. everyone has to do what works for them. i am not sure why our culture puts so much emphasis on every bit of daily minutiae. whether your question is when to start solids, how to bathe your child, how to get them to sleep or when to comfort them if they are crying; there is a plethora of opinions, each stating that failure to do x, y or z will result in your child's eventual demise! well, not exactly, but the accusations fly across the table whether you are reading a baby book, or researching on the internet - that this small, personal choice will ruin your baby's relationship with you, or cause problems later in life. i guess today i am just feeling over inundated with conflicting advice (solids) and it is causing me to over think. ok, trying to deactivate my brain now!
Monday, May 16, 2011
loving may (so far)
being a new mum definitely has its ups and downs. so far may has been full of ups and el sib and i have been very happy. she is still just a little slip of a thing; she just reached the 12 pound mark and is often mistaken for a much younger baby. i think she is reaching all of the milestones on track....i dont really read up on them, or know what they are---but i see what other girls write on their blogs and she seems to be progressing normally! one thing i really love about my pediatrician is that he is so laid back and does not give a mom information that will lead to worrying. for example, i didnt know sib was small until my lactation consultant pointed it out. my doc doesnt mention percentages, or percentiles. he asks about what she has achieved and doesnt point out things that she has not reached yet. that matches my style perfectly.
i dont really have time to plan out what i am going to blog about in advance but i am going to attempt a list of things loved so far in this wonderful month of may!
1. 4 months- sib has changed so much in the past few weeks. when she turned 16 weeks, it was like a light went off in her little cabbage head. all of a sudden she really noticed the things going on in the world around her. she loves the dogs, she loves tummy time, she loves walks, she loves benson most of all (whew, a bit of a relief)! she is so happy, and does a hilarious giggle and even a bit of a cackle. she likes to be tickled too. love, love, love having a 4 month old. can i freeze her at this stage, like forever?
2. nursing- so not to talk about boobs or anything....i know people have different experiences nursing, especially in the beginning when it is hard, and you are trying to time things, figure out when to switch boobs, wonder if you have enough milk, etc. however, i just want to put out there for anyone considering quitting during the first 2 months- just wait it out. nursing is the most rewarding part of being a mother. we have a new little habit now which i love- benson brings sib to me when she wakes up at 7 and we nurse in bed, lying down. i had trouble with this position in the beginning but now she seems to have the neck and mouth control to do it well. we sit and play in bed afterwards and those are her sweetest moments of the day. i love how she uses her hands while nursing....i feel most bonded to her while nursing. just love it and love the way the Lord designed our bodies to sustain our babies.
3. mommy and me class - on tuesdays i go to a local class which focuses on nursing (it is led by a lactation consultant) and it is such a great way to connect with other moms. being a stay at home mom (sahm) can be a bit isolating if you dont try to get out there...especially since i do not know any other sahm's and am a bit of an introvert anyways.
4. a song of ice and fire- ok...so really i started this series in april, but am finishing the fourth book in may. this is a fantasy series written by george r.r. martin and i could not be anymore obsessed. you have to be obsessed to finishing 4, 500+ page books in 3 weeks. although this is typical behavior for me, this series takes me in a slightly different direction. everyone knows i am a big time nerd...but i guess i thought my fantasy fascination was confined to lord of the rings and the histories of middle earth and harry potter. benson begged me not to start this series (he is afraid of the rabbit hole i might fall into, considering i am a 28 year old female who collects comics) but now he is as addicted to it as i am. looks like i am going to officially start haunting the fantasy section of barnes and noble, not just the graphic novel section. by the way, the males you see in these 2 sections (a female is a rare sighting) are generally very interesting characters.
5. masterpiece classics - i love gpb/pbs. just want to put out there that i am pretty uncritical (is that a word?) of historical fiction in film. i love the language, i love the costumes and filming locations. south riding is the new one i am watching and it is awesome. i loathe to let sibby watch any tv....but it is ok if it is this type of show, right? (i regret to inform you that sibby is fascinated by the tv, so i am careful to only let her watch nerdy shows....oh, and the soup)
6. my box turtle - sibby and i have a new pet box turtle that appears outside of her bedroom window (the patio) every other day around 8 am. we feed him grapes. he likes the grapes, but not the interruption.
7. benson working from home on friday - sometimes benson will work at home. it is such a great day for me....i dont like to do errands on the weekends. when he works from home on friday, i can leave her when she is napping with benson and i can go do errands which are cumbersome with a baby. for ex. printing pics at cvs. she would be bored 3 minutes in...and it takes FOREVER to pick them out when your camera card holds 1000+ photos.
8. etsy - ok, so i have loved etsy for years, buy i have found some particularly awesome finds this month. sib's baptism invites, a necklace for my mom for mothers day, a fox (!) teething ring for sibby with her name carved into it....i LOVE etsy.
9. fabric shopping- i am trying to find some fabric for my dining room. i really do enjoy shopping for fabric but unfortunately i am not to great at matching. i love vibrant fabrics with motifs, not a simple pattern. i hope my house does not send someone into an epileptic fit or cause nausea from all of the clashing colors. if you turn in circles it might be a bit like the tilt-a-whirl.
10.alfred lord tennyson - ulysses has been my favorite poem for years. now i am determined to read it to sibby twice a day so that she can be one of those child prodigies that recite poems at the age of 2. despite the fact that ulysses is about how death hangs over us as we age, and the effort to not become complacent and useless, i think it is stirring and inspiring. it makes me want to "follow knowledge like a sinking star, beyond the upmost bound of human thought"
i am a bit morbid in that i have had my funeral arranged since i was young. my tombstone shall read : come my friends! tis not to late to seek a newer world. push off and sitting well in order, smite the sounding furrows. for my purpose holds to sail beyond the sunset and the baths of all the western stars until i die.
i also want a marble bear on top of a ten ft. obelisk to guard my burial site. yep. i do.
have to go. as a warning, or an apology i am not going to reread or spell check this. no time!!
i dont really have time to plan out what i am going to blog about in advance but i am going to attempt a list of things loved so far in this wonderful month of may!
1. 4 months- sib has changed so much in the past few weeks. when she turned 16 weeks, it was like a light went off in her little cabbage head. all of a sudden she really noticed the things going on in the world around her. she loves the dogs, she loves tummy time, she loves walks, she loves benson most of all (whew, a bit of a relief)! she is so happy, and does a hilarious giggle and even a bit of a cackle. she likes to be tickled too. love, love, love having a 4 month old. can i freeze her at this stage, like forever?
2. nursing- so not to talk about boobs or anything....i know people have different experiences nursing, especially in the beginning when it is hard, and you are trying to time things, figure out when to switch boobs, wonder if you have enough milk, etc. however, i just want to put out there for anyone considering quitting during the first 2 months- just wait it out. nursing is the most rewarding part of being a mother. we have a new little habit now which i love- benson brings sib to me when she wakes up at 7 and we nurse in bed, lying down. i had trouble with this position in the beginning but now she seems to have the neck and mouth control to do it well. we sit and play in bed afterwards and those are her sweetest moments of the day. i love how she uses her hands while nursing....i feel most bonded to her while nursing. just love it and love the way the Lord designed our bodies to sustain our babies.
3. mommy and me class - on tuesdays i go to a local class which focuses on nursing (it is led by a lactation consultant) and it is such a great way to connect with other moms. being a stay at home mom (sahm) can be a bit isolating if you dont try to get out there...especially since i do not know any other sahm's and am a bit of an introvert anyways.
4. a song of ice and fire- ok...so really i started this series in april, but am finishing the fourth book in may. this is a fantasy series written by george r.r. martin and i could not be anymore obsessed. you have to be obsessed to finishing 4, 500+ page books in 3 weeks. although this is typical behavior for me, this series takes me in a slightly different direction. everyone knows i am a big time nerd...but i guess i thought my fantasy fascination was confined to lord of the rings and the histories of middle earth and harry potter. benson begged me not to start this series (he is afraid of the rabbit hole i might fall into, considering i am a 28 year old female who collects comics) but now he is as addicted to it as i am. looks like i am going to officially start haunting the fantasy section of barnes and noble, not just the graphic novel section. by the way, the males you see in these 2 sections (a female is a rare sighting) are generally very interesting characters.
5. masterpiece classics - i love gpb/pbs. just want to put out there that i am pretty uncritical (is that a word?) of historical fiction in film. i love the language, i love the costumes and filming locations. south riding is the new one i am watching and it is awesome. i loathe to let sibby watch any tv....but it is ok if it is this type of show, right? (i regret to inform you that sibby is fascinated by the tv, so i am careful to only let her watch nerdy shows....oh, and the soup)
6. my box turtle - sibby and i have a new pet box turtle that appears outside of her bedroom window (the patio) every other day around 8 am. we feed him grapes. he likes the grapes, but not the interruption.
7. benson working from home on friday - sometimes benson will work at home. it is such a great day for me....i dont like to do errands on the weekends. when he works from home on friday, i can leave her when she is napping with benson and i can go do errands which are cumbersome with a baby. for ex. printing pics at cvs. she would be bored 3 minutes in...and it takes FOREVER to pick them out when your camera card holds 1000+ photos.
8. etsy - ok, so i have loved etsy for years, buy i have found some particularly awesome finds this month. sib's baptism invites, a necklace for my mom for mothers day, a fox (!) teething ring for sibby with her name carved into it....i LOVE etsy.
9. fabric shopping- i am trying to find some fabric for my dining room. i really do enjoy shopping for fabric but unfortunately i am not to great at matching. i love vibrant fabrics with motifs, not a simple pattern. i hope my house does not send someone into an epileptic fit or cause nausea from all of the clashing colors. if you turn in circles it might be a bit like the tilt-a-whirl.
10.alfred lord tennyson - ulysses has been my favorite poem for years. now i am determined to read it to sibby twice a day so that she can be one of those child prodigies that recite poems at the age of 2. despite the fact that ulysses is about how death hangs over us as we age, and the effort to not become complacent and useless, i think it is stirring and inspiring. it makes me want to "follow knowledge like a sinking star, beyond the upmost bound of human thought"
i am a bit morbid in that i have had my funeral arranged since i was young. my tombstone shall read : come my friends! tis not to late to seek a newer world. push off and sitting well in order, smite the sounding furrows. for my purpose holds to sail beyond the sunset and the baths of all the western stars until i die.
i also want a marble bear on top of a ten ft. obelisk to guard my burial site. yep. i do.
have to go. as a warning, or an apology i am not going to reread or spell check this. no time!!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
16 weeks
Today the Sibbster, El Sibonator, et al. is 16 weeks old. The cliche that time flies has never been proven so true until parenthood. Looking back on this blog, which has been woefully put aside since 1.11.11, I find it particularly hilarious to read my post on 1.10.11. I wrote nervously and you can tell I wasn't quite ready for the baby to come...but it was only a few hours later when my water broke. That is what I liked about keeping a blog/journal is that it takes you back to a certain time frame and state of mind which is very easy to forget. So with that said, and I am making no promises here, I hope to update this once a week...so at least I can remember the different struggles and milestones we met along the way.
Lessons Learned
If I could say one thing to Betsy Ward around week one or two of Sibby's existence, it would be the following: Give her a bottle earlier rather than later. The boob consultants told me to wait 4-6 weeks to introduce the bottle....well, now she won't take it. Hopefully I will remember this for round 2.
Also, if it is possible, try to hand your baby off to other people when they are around. Sibby is already showing MAJOR signs of being a mama's girl. I know it is cute, and I am ob.ses.sed with her....but I want her to like her daddy....and be happy with her grandparents, etc. There is a danger zone with being a stay-at-home-mom, exclusive nurser, baby-wearing fool...I am experiencing the repercussions now...Sibby basically only wants me (Uncle Trey is somehow excluded from the list of no no's).
Future self: Don't drop your baby in the water, hit her head on wooden objects or chandeliers. Be more careful!
Milestones
El Sib is probably going to be a petite lady. She is not growing like a weed, more like a small violet you keep indoors. She is 12 pounds, 22 inches at 4 months. I know people whose babies were bigger than that at 3 weeks. Heck, almost at birth. I am not worried; she has rolls on her small frame and is happy and content...but she might inherit her father's stature.
Despite her size, she is pretty strong for a young lass. She can roll over one way, and yesterday she even rolled from her back to her stomach. She can support all of her weight on her legs, and is a champ at neck control. She can follow us all around a room with her swively head and eagle eyes. The baby books keep mentioning "reaching for toys"...we don't really play with toys, so I am not sure about that one. If she is not napping or nursing, I am generally face to face with her, doing tummy time on a blanket, or she is in her vibrating chair watching me workout, clean, cook dinner, etc. Should I start giving here toys? I figure throughout history babies didn't really have toys...maybe a rag doll, or a wooden figurine...so she should be cool. I also detest plastic stuff strung around the house. Da Vinci didn't have vibrating, singing, multi-colored accessories and he turned out to be a pretty smart guy.
I might not be a fan of toys, but I am an idiot for baby clothes. I said (I love eating my words!) that is is silly to waste money on baby clothes, blah, blah, blah. I also assumed I would like more modern outfits....No, wrong, try again, go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $100. I want Sibby to wear her smocked outfits until middle school (like I did)! I loved pantaloons, victorian collars and gingham. I want her to wear beautiful smocked clothes everywhere. And as she gets older I want her church dresses to be so old fashioned that she could have walked right out of a tin type from 1870. It is so funny to me that having a child changes so many ideas you might have previously held, and all of the ruminations you daydreamed of how you were going to raise your child changed the minute you actually saw that face. I willingly admit I was so wrong on so many things!
The little Niblet is awesome at the grocery store, shopping, etc. excepting the car ride. She is not a fan of the car seat. She loves to be outside and watch the bumblebees fight. I hope we have a budding animal lover (like mommy). I have a photo of her at 10 weeks old with a garden snake...I am sure most people find that revolting and want to call DFCS on me but I want her to learn the way I did, from experience, that all animals are awesome....even snakes and spiders.
Watching Benson with our daughter is the highlight of my life...especially on the weekends when she is in a good mood. When he comes home at night it is almost bedtime and Sibbs is not always so lovey dovey!
Sibby is mostly good at church. She has attended since she was 4 weeks and Easter is the only time I had to get up with her. Her schedule was way off on Easter, poor thing.
Ok, the little girl is waking up...Back to reality. I love you Sibby! Happy 16 weeks!
Friday, April 15, 2011
lame superpowers
i have recently discovered that pregnancy, childbirth and childrearing might imbue you with a new set of superpowers....or at least superhuman abilities. instead of a radioactive spider you have the pain of labor and birth and the ever present fear that something will happen to your baby. the effect is not nearly as stunning as spiderman's magic production of webs from his fingertips but hey...it is cooler than what i had before the baby!
a. supersonic hearing- i swear i can hear her sigh at the other end of the house. i am so attuned and in tune with her bodily functions that i really do not understand the need for a baby monitor (unless you live in a 2 story house...)
b. lightening fast cleaning abilities- ok, i am going to brag here because i seriously cannot believe how much i can accomplish in one nap time, let alone one full day. let me preface with this fact: i have never been a good housekeeper. benson used to find dirty dishes under my bed in college. and before sibby was born i probably washed our dog-nose-smeared windows once a year. since her arrival i have felt a very keen need to have the house clean at all times. example. in the past 2 days i have vacuumed, mopped the tile and hardwood floors, washed the windows in the house, dusted throughout, oiled the wood furniture, removed that hard to reach dust atop the tall bookcases, planted flowers, hung up pictures in sibby's room, wrote many thank you notes (and actually mailed them, another bad habit of mine), cleaned every crevice of the kitchen cabinets with bleach spray, cooked two "real" dinners, swept the carport, cleaned the molding and baseboards, attended a mommy and me class, visited a sick friend, went shopping and to walmart at 7 am to buy benson jean shorts (dont ask) and have actually stayed on track with my new work out routine. seriously even though i didnt work when i was pregnant i would not have accomplished that much in a week!
c. super human love- ok, i know this is lame, but i just realized i have to hurry and wrap this post up! i have the opposite problem of the grinch and my heart is ten sizes too big. what is interesting in sibby is not the only recipient of this growing heart. who knew that after loving my benson for 10 years that i could feel soooo much more in love with him after seeing him be a father? i now love my mom much more fully and deeply after realizing what she went through with me and how much she loves me after feeling it myself for my daughter. i also now love every child i meet, hear about, or who exists somewhere on this planet. now i understand why people cant listen to the news. i fall to pieces thinking that a child is suffering somewhere. while it used to make me sad or angry in a theoretical sense about the wars, fighting, abuses, etc. i now have a very painful heartache considering the hurt of one child anywhere. it is so much more real to me now, because everyone is someone's baby, someones whole world.
in an aside, while thinking about superpowers i remembered captain planet. seriously, could there be a bigger loser of a superhero? dont get me wrong, i love the planet. i read national geographic, recycle and use cloth diapers! but his goal as a superhero is to "take pollution down to zero"? this opinion is coming from someone who read the comic concrete, where the superhero is just made of concrete! and swamp thing, where the superhero is made of mud and lives in a bog! even those lowly heroes seems rad compared to captain planet and his awful theme song.
a. supersonic hearing- i swear i can hear her sigh at the other end of the house. i am so attuned and in tune with her bodily functions that i really do not understand the need for a baby monitor (unless you live in a 2 story house...)
b. lightening fast cleaning abilities- ok, i am going to brag here because i seriously cannot believe how much i can accomplish in one nap time, let alone one full day. let me preface with this fact: i have never been a good housekeeper. benson used to find dirty dishes under my bed in college. and before sibby was born i probably washed our dog-nose-smeared windows once a year. since her arrival i have felt a very keen need to have the house clean at all times. example. in the past 2 days i have vacuumed, mopped the tile and hardwood floors, washed the windows in the house, dusted throughout, oiled the wood furniture, removed that hard to reach dust atop the tall bookcases, planted flowers, hung up pictures in sibby's room, wrote many thank you notes (and actually mailed them, another bad habit of mine), cleaned every crevice of the kitchen cabinets with bleach spray, cooked two "real" dinners, swept the carport, cleaned the molding and baseboards, attended a mommy and me class, visited a sick friend, went shopping and to walmart at 7 am to buy benson jean shorts (dont ask) and have actually stayed on track with my new work out routine. seriously even though i didnt work when i was pregnant i would not have accomplished that much in a week!
c. super human love- ok, i know this is lame, but i just realized i have to hurry and wrap this post up! i have the opposite problem of the grinch and my heart is ten sizes too big. what is interesting in sibby is not the only recipient of this growing heart. who knew that after loving my benson for 10 years that i could feel soooo much more in love with him after seeing him be a father? i now love my mom much more fully and deeply after realizing what she went through with me and how much she loves me after feeling it myself for my daughter. i also now love every child i meet, hear about, or who exists somewhere on this planet. now i understand why people cant listen to the news. i fall to pieces thinking that a child is suffering somewhere. while it used to make me sad or angry in a theoretical sense about the wars, fighting, abuses, etc. i now have a very painful heartache considering the hurt of one child anywhere. it is so much more real to me now, because everyone is someone's baby, someones whole world.
in an aside, while thinking about superpowers i remembered captain planet. seriously, could there be a bigger loser of a superhero? dont get me wrong, i love the planet. i read national geographic, recycle and use cloth diapers! but his goal as a superhero is to "take pollution down to zero"? this opinion is coming from someone who read the comic concrete, where the superhero is just made of concrete! and swamp thing, where the superhero is made of mud and lives in a bog! even those lowly heroes seems rad compared to captain planet and his awful theme song.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
kenneth speaks the truth...?
so i dont know how i existed the past few years without 30 rock. someone loaned us season 1 when sibby was 8 weeks old and we have loved every second of this show....we just started season 4. anyways, all of the characters are fantastic but of course kenneth is special. kenneth, supposedly from a pig farm in stone mountain (guess the writers had not actually been anywhere near stone mountain when they pulled that name out of a hat...that accent is much more rabun county and stone mountain was possibly a small town 60 years ago, before it was swallowed into atlanta-sprawl...anyways!)
so last night's episode gave kenneth the line "i feel as useless as a mom's college degree". benson and i both burst out laughing, har har, but in a way, i have been questioning the usefulness of my college degrees for the past few years. what am i going to do with them? was there a point to it...especially the last masters which required a student loan? my degrees were useless before i became a stay at home mom (ba in african history, swahili and sociology, masters in public health, masters in social studies education). i got into high school history at the wrong time and only ended up finding a job for one semester. the underwater basket weaving joke got old in undergrad...but i guess there was a ring of truth to it.
there is no answer here....just pontificating. of course, i would not have met benson, i would not be even a tenth of as interesting, i would not have acquired the research skills i really honed writing 3 different theses, i would not have made certain friends, traveled to tanzania, become as interested in world affairs, etc. if i could do it all over again, i would not change my path...but is that vanity? i have found my calling in being a mom and hope to have many more children before i return the working world. right now speaking swahili, or understanding public health research or knowing how to manage a high school classroom might be about as useless as a mom's college degree for me.
so last night's episode gave kenneth the line "i feel as useless as a mom's college degree". benson and i both burst out laughing, har har, but in a way, i have been questioning the usefulness of my college degrees for the past few years. what am i going to do with them? was there a point to it...especially the last masters which required a student loan? my degrees were useless before i became a stay at home mom (ba in african history, swahili and sociology, masters in public health, masters in social studies education). i got into high school history at the wrong time and only ended up finding a job for one semester. the underwater basket weaving joke got old in undergrad...but i guess there was a ring of truth to it.
there is no answer here....just pontificating. of course, i would not have met benson, i would not be even a tenth of as interesting, i would not have acquired the research skills i really honed writing 3 different theses, i would not have made certain friends, traveled to tanzania, become as interested in world affairs, etc. if i could do it all over again, i would not change my path...but is that vanity? i have found my calling in being a mom and hope to have many more children before i return the working world. right now speaking swahili, or understanding public health research or knowing how to manage a high school classroom might be about as useless as a mom's college degree for me.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
how do you do it?
kudos to all of the mommy bloggers i used to enjoy reading...i dont know how you find time to blog with children. it has been weeks (months?) since i last sat down to blog since sibby has been born. so hats off to you- i am either holding/cooing at the girl when she is awake (which recently she has decided should be almost all day long), feeding her while watching firefly or scrabbling to clean the house/run errands/make dinner etc. when she is asleep. i wouldn't be in touch with the world at all except for my ipod/touch which enables me to troll facebook while feeding her!
i am not officially shutting down the blog...but i just really dont know how to find the time- its much better spent with this little monster who has just started stirring from her abbreviated nap!
i am not officially shutting down the blog...but i just really dont know how to find the time- its much better spent with this little monster who has just started stirring from her abbreviated nap!
Friday, January 28, 2011
in love with a girl
minutes after her birth
so cute
her double chin is so much bigger now!!!
proud pop....tired momthe dogs seem to really like her and constantly try to sniff and lick her. actually, let me take that back...buddy doesnt care about her at all...but merlin and sadie are already vying for the top spot in her heart. for anyone who has read the story of edgar sawtelle (highly recommend), i think we might have to christen sadie "almondine".
ok, i hear little stinkum stirring and have to run. she is so fun...and she likes all of the south pacific show tunes i sing to her, she likes sitting through 3 showings of jane eyre, and she doesnt startle when the dogs bark at the ups man...as long as i am holding her close. we are totally and completely smitten.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sibby's Birth
I wrote this for our birth class days after she was born...I am not going to edit it for the blog...so here goes!
Benson and I wanted to let you know that on her due date, 1/11/11, Sibyl "Sibby" O'Connor joined the Ward family during the height of the ice storm! More details will follow (unless I go on for a while), but I will say that everything we thought might happen during labor went completely out the window when we had a precipitious labor. We had our bags packed to spend days laboring with all of the accoutrements we expected I would need to get through a long and grueling labor. Instead I spent Monday with what I thought was normal mid-back pain and mild Braxton Hicks (I had not had any during the pregnancy really and was not sure) and went to bed around 12:30 after the national championship game. At 12:55 my water broke and we contemplated putting off calling the doctor since I had no other symptoms. We called anyways and the answering service said they would send him a message. Within 30 minutes Benson was timing my contractions which (there were only a few we timed before getting in the car) jumped around from 8 to 6 to 4 minutes apart. Frustrated we had not heard from the doctor yet, Benson called the answering service again at 2:00, and was put through to a doc on call who said to come on in. Still thinking I had 24 hours ahead for me, I took a quick shower but realized I was in way too much pain and we got in the car at 2:35 to brave the treacherous road to Emory Midtown. Normally a 20 minute drive, it turned into an hour long ordeal because on Monday night the highway was still just a huge sheet of ice. I think I went into a bit of a zone, but I do remember starting to get nervous that my contractions seemed one on top of the other and that I was in intense pain during them. This was not aided by the fact that the ice made the roads very rough and I was having to hold myself off of the car seat from the rough ride and squeeze my legs together because i felt the "urge to poop" -- which in the back of my mind I knew meant that I was basically ready to push, but Benson said I just kept mentioning between contractions how bad I had to go number two. Of course, this was a white knuckle experience for him, poor thing, trying to control the car and timing my contractions which were between 3-1 minutes apart during the ride. I also went through a short transition in the car, which maybe lasted 1 contraction and was super intense. It is odd, because I was quite aware of everything that was going on and I had two voices in my head....one was that this can't really be intense labor yet b/c of the timing and that I am obviously not going to be able to handle actual labor, and another voice monitoring the reality of the situation and fearing a birth in the car and knowing this was it! We made it to Emory at 3:35 am. We couldn't even use any emergency or valet entrance b/c of the ice and I had to walk from visitor parking. While Bens was signing a thing or two I went to the women's restroom in the waiting room to sit on the toilet where a nurse quickly found me and told me I did not want to have this baby on a toilet! Walking to the Labor & Delivery area, we saw Dr. Tate and I felt instant relief. We still had not heard from him and I was worried he might not make it. He said that the girl from the answering service who didn't return our call might be out of work soon... We went into a room, they stripped me in seconds, and he checked me immediately. The nurses barely had time to take a blood sample and I definitely didn't have anything else poked (no IVs, etc.)! I didn't quite understand when he told the resident that I was fully dilated and plus two...but then he turned to me and told me that with my next contraction it is time to start pushing. Dr. Tate grabbed a leg and told Benson to grab the other. In no time, I was ready and began to push. I had four sets of three pushes and she was born! We arrived at Emory at 3:35 and she made her entrance into the world at 4:07. She could easily have been born in the car! I guess what stopped it was me holding my legs together and tensing up so much holding myself up off the seat. During those 4 sets I went through a range of emotions....I was in shock and denial during the first two. Luckily I had the hang of it from the beginning...After the second push Dr. Tate said he could see the head and Benson saw a bit of the hair and I guess I then realized I was really having a baby! After the third, the baby was at the "ring of fire" which was so painful and it seemed an eternity that she was just hanging out there while we were waiting for the fourth wave of contractions. It was so surreal when she was born and we found out our "it" was in fact a she. I had a second degree tear which has NOT been fun. The placenta was not coming down as Dr. Tate would have liked and they had to spend a bit of time on me pushing on top of my stomach and reaching in to help get it out. I barely noticed though -- my baby had been placed on me! Benson really didn't have time to put many of his Bradley skills into practice but he has become the most hands on dad I can imagine. In a way I feel like I lucked out with a fast labor, but at the same time it was a risky and nerve wrecking way to come. From the little bit I've read since Tuesday, it is quite rare to have a labor like that but it is deemed dangerous and has added risks -- you are more likely to tear and hemorrhage because your body doesn't really have time to respond to the labor; the contractions are obviously shorter but they are supposed to be more intense and painful. I wouldn't know b/c I have nothing to compare them to! I was definitely in shock and not really emotionally ready for the birth! We are just so happy to have her here and are so thankful to Cheryl and everyone for helping us prepare! Benson did not use many of the physical coaching skills, but mentally the classes helped us immensely (Benson says that my talk of having to poop during the drive to the hospital freaked him out, because he knew from all the stories in class that this symptom meant it was time to push. He did not want to deliver our baby by himself on a snowbank on the side of I-85.)! Mom, Dad and Sibby are all doing great. Pictures to come...Betsy, Benson and Sibby
Benson and I wanted to let you know that on her due date, 1/11/11, Sibyl "Sibby" O'Connor joined the Ward family during the height of the ice storm! More details will follow (unless I go on for a while), but I will say that everything we thought might happen during labor went completely out the window when we had a precipitious labor. We had our bags packed to spend days laboring with all of the accoutrements we expected I would need to get through a long and grueling labor. Instead I spent Monday with what I thought was normal mid-back pain and mild Braxton Hicks (I had not had any during the pregnancy really and was not sure) and went to bed around 12:30 after the national championship game. At 12:55 my water broke and we contemplated putting off calling the doctor since I had no other symptoms. We called anyways and the answering service said they would send him a message. Within 30 minutes Benson was timing my contractions which (there were only a few we timed before getting in the car) jumped around from 8 to 6 to 4 minutes apart. Frustrated we had not heard from the doctor yet, Benson called the answering service again at 2:00, and was put through to a doc on call who said to come on in. Still thinking I had 24 hours ahead for me, I took a quick shower but realized I was in way too much pain and we got in the car at 2:35 to brave the treacherous road to Emory Midtown. Normally a 20 minute drive, it turned into an hour long ordeal because on Monday night the highway was still just a huge sheet of ice. I think I went into a bit of a zone, but I do remember starting to get nervous that my contractions seemed one on top of the other and that I was in intense pain during them. This was not aided by the fact that the ice made the roads very rough and I was having to hold myself off of the car seat from the rough ride and squeeze my legs together because i felt the "urge to poop" -- which in the back of my mind I knew meant that I was basically ready to push, but Benson said I just kept mentioning between contractions how bad I had to go number two. Of course, this was a white knuckle experience for him, poor thing, trying to control the car and timing my contractions which were between 3-1 minutes apart during the ride. I also went through a short transition in the car, which maybe lasted 1 contraction and was super intense. It is odd, because I was quite aware of everything that was going on and I had two voices in my head....one was that this can't really be intense labor yet b/c of the timing and that I am obviously not going to be able to handle actual labor, and another voice monitoring the reality of the situation and fearing a birth in the car and knowing this was it! We made it to Emory at 3:35 am. We couldn't even use any emergency or valet entrance b/c of the ice and I had to walk from visitor parking. While Bens was signing a thing or two I went to the women's restroom in the waiting room to sit on the toilet where a nurse quickly found me and told me I did not want to have this baby on a toilet! Walking to the Labor & Delivery area, we saw Dr. Tate and I felt instant relief. We still had not heard from him and I was worried he might not make it. He said that the girl from the answering service who didn't return our call might be out of work soon... We went into a room, they stripped me in seconds, and he checked me immediately. The nurses barely had time to take a blood sample and I definitely didn't have anything else poked (no IVs, etc.)! I didn't quite understand when he told the resident that I was fully dilated and plus two...but then he turned to me and told me that with my next contraction it is time to start pushing. Dr. Tate grabbed a leg and told Benson to grab the other. In no time, I was ready and began to push. I had four sets of three pushes and she was born! We arrived at Emory at 3:35 and she made her entrance into the world at 4:07. She could easily have been born in the car! I guess what stopped it was me holding my legs together and tensing up so much holding myself up off the seat. During those 4 sets I went through a range of emotions....I was in shock and denial during the first two. Luckily I had the hang of it from the beginning...After the second push Dr. Tate said he could see the head and Benson saw a bit of the hair and I guess I then realized I was really having a baby! After the third, the baby was at the "ring of fire" which was so painful and it seemed an eternity that she was just hanging out there while we were waiting for the fourth wave of contractions. It was so surreal when she was born and we found out our "it" was in fact a she. I had a second degree tear which has NOT been fun. The placenta was not coming down as Dr. Tate would have liked and they had to spend a bit of time on me pushing on top of my stomach and reaching in to help get it out. I barely noticed though -- my baby had been placed on me! Benson really didn't have time to put many of his Bradley skills into practice but he has become the most hands on dad I can imagine. In a way I feel like I lucked out with a fast labor, but at the same time it was a risky and nerve wrecking way to come. From the little bit I've read since Tuesday, it is quite rare to have a labor like that but it is deemed dangerous and has added risks -- you are more likely to tear and hemorrhage because your body doesn't really have time to respond to the labor; the contractions are obviously shorter but they are supposed to be more intense and painful. I wouldn't know b/c I have nothing to compare them to! I was definitely in shock and not really emotionally ready for the birth! We are just so happy to have her here and are so thankful to Cheryl and everyone for helping us prepare! Benson did not use many of the physical coaching skills, but mentally the classes helped us immensely (Benson says that my talk of having to poop during the drive to the hospital freaked him out, because he knew from all the stories in class that this symptom meant it was time to push. He did not want to deliver our baby by himself on a snowbank on the side of I-85.)! Mom, Dad and Sibby are all doing great. Pictures to come...Betsy, Benson and Sibby
Monday, January 10, 2011
due tomorrow?
my due date is tomorrow. not sure if i should be ready for the baby to be evicted or not! i am sure that the highways have been cleared of enough snow to be safe...but i am worried about it freezing over tonight with more sleet. my friend mebbie relayed her harrowing (to me at least and my pregnancy state of mind) story of having to leave her vehicle on the side of the highway last night in order to be rescued by a family friend. my luck usually consists of slightly mitigated worst-case scenarios and so i am envisioning a 2 am labor, getting stuck on I-85 and benson delivering the baby in the back seat...at least he earned his coach card through 40 hours of bradley classes!
the snow has been beautiful and i have really enjoyed having benson at home today. i havent been diligent in updating my blog recently because i have felt really awful. on wednesday my mid-back started killing me out of nowhere (it is slightly on the left side, if anyone with a medical degree has any suggestions!). it has been pretty unrelenting since then. I may have a few hours reprieve, but it has pretty much been my constant companion. the worst part is that it is so severe, that i really have had problems standing or doing anything. i didnt really want to spend the last week (or God help me, 15 days...) of my pregnancy lying on my side with a heating pad...but i guess it is almost over!
all this talk about due dates and the impending introduction of our little one has me a little bit nervous. i think we are ready...but honestly, can any first-timer really be ready? i feel like we are already starting out behind--we dont have names picked out! the shelves remain in their plastic wrappers! the diapers are not completely washed and prepped! we dont have the car seat installed!
please pray for us! pray that two nerdy kids will find the maturity to raise this baby :)
the snow has been beautiful and i have really enjoyed having benson at home today. i havent been diligent in updating my blog recently because i have felt really awful. on wednesday my mid-back started killing me out of nowhere (it is slightly on the left side, if anyone with a medical degree has any suggestions!). it has been pretty unrelenting since then. I may have a few hours reprieve, but it has pretty much been my constant companion. the worst part is that it is so severe, that i really have had problems standing or doing anything. i didnt really want to spend the last week (or God help me, 15 days...) of my pregnancy lying on my side with a heating pad...but i guess it is almost over!
all this talk about due dates and the impending introduction of our little one has me a little bit nervous. i think we are ready...but honestly, can any first-timer really be ready? i feel like we are already starting out behind--we dont have names picked out! the shelves remain in their plastic wrappers! the diapers are not completely washed and prepped! we dont have the car seat installed!
please pray for us! pray that two nerdy kids will find the maturity to raise this baby :)
Monday, January 3, 2011
sick, sick, sick
just when i was beginning to pay myself on the back a little about this pregnancy, i started to slow down....and now i feel just plain awful. i started to slow down right before Christmas (37 weeks pregnant). water weight began to creep up and show itself on my swollen hands and feet. my big belly started to cause muscle and ligament pain in my belly...oh, and sleep became much more difficult! however, these were all minor discomforts and side effects that many girls experience throughout the entire third trimester! at least i know the end is near.
over christmas bens and his mom were really sick with yucky sinus stuff. we commented multiple times how lucky i was that it had not struck me! well, as of the last few days--count me stricken. i think i slept a total of 1.5 hours last night...maybe. i have so much gross drainage that it is impossible to lie down and fall asleep. my nose is constantly closing up and you have to breathe through your mouth which dries and hurts your throat. anyways, you know how it is. i am just crossing my fingers that i dont go into labor when i am sick like this. i need energy to pull off a natural birth! i have an appt with my GP today, but i am not sure what he will put me on since i am preggo. i have about a week left to be pregnant (unless i go super late!) and i dont want to spend it holed up in bed, blowing my nose, wishing i could sleep! there are still so many chores i need to do and the xmas decorations arent going to take down themselves!
over christmas bens and his mom were really sick with yucky sinus stuff. we commented multiple times how lucky i was that it had not struck me! well, as of the last few days--count me stricken. i think i slept a total of 1.5 hours last night...maybe. i have so much gross drainage that it is impossible to lie down and fall asleep. my nose is constantly closing up and you have to breathe through your mouth which dries and hurts your throat. anyways, you know how it is. i am just crossing my fingers that i dont go into labor when i am sick like this. i need energy to pull off a natural birth! i have an appt with my GP today, but i am not sure what he will put me on since i am preggo. i have about a week left to be pregnant (unless i go super late!) and i dont want to spend it holed up in bed, blowing my nose, wishing i could sleep! there are still so many chores i need to do and the xmas decorations arent going to take down themselves!
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